I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
