If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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