its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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