As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
