Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
