Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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