WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
