But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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