do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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