That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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