Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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