I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
