Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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