Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
