I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
