My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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