I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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