i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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