you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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