the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
