We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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