I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
now i know why i became what i already was.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Randomize
