Dual....:-)
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
