so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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