Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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