she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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