Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Apparently you make a good broom.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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