I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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