That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize