I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
