dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
