My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
