If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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