Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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