Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
