You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
