Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
