keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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