She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
