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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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