I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
