Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
