put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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