could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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