i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I had to cum in my sink.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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