All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
