Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
