puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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