bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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