you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
thus making me awesome and them whores
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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