so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
