Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well I just put wine in my tea
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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