"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
