Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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