Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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