I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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