i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
