glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
