I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
