I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
