We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
