i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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