I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
