i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
