Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
